So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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