Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
