Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
