Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
