maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
