i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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