I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
