Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
