Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
