Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
