we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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