I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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