do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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