Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
