guys are not supposed to queef...right?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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