Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
