it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You can't just leave with hair like that
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
