when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
