yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
