wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
