omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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