It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
