Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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