God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
