It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
