So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
