Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
