whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
