She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
