is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
