If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
