ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
