YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
