If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
