It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
