do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
