Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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