i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
