are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
