dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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