Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
