I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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