I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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