I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
