We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
