You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
