How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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