you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
