She is in my trunk
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
