Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
